I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need a beard to bite.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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