im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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