whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
