fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
