u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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