literally had 100 drinks last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
