I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
