im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
