one two three fourrrrnication!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Mom said you looked used
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
