i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
