Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
