I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
