Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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