Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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