It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
