In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
