Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
