I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
