I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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