quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
