Cold hands, warm shart.
i don't like sucking hair
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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