You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
