eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
