Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
