That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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