This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
