Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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