A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
