He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize