so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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