Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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