You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
