i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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