I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
