i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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