Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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