Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
