I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
