I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
