yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
