PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
