you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
either way he was missing a nipple.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
