ugly people sure do ruin things
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize