I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
