nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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