Nicole vs. Life
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize