Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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