It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
