i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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