On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
