I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize