my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
