she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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