Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i think im in europe. pls send help
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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