she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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