my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
one might say we're banned from that church
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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