She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
So. Much. Porn.
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