How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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