Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
