Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
