a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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