Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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