put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
