Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
