Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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