Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
