just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
