woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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