I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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