he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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